It went all wrong...

I feel so shitty case today... Had cca and i thought you were waiting for me and as while practice your dance... But guess i was wrong... you werent waiting for me... what was i thinking... Left the school hoping you would rush to chase after me like you always do before i left... but i was wrong again... I sat down in the bus and tear... miss holding your hand...): I thought i would be able to hold your hand, hug you and maybe a goodbye kiss before i go home... that might make everything better... but sigh... it all ended wrong... you message me and i said ttyl guess you were busy practicing your dance... so didn't want to disturb you... and if the more i message you i know that the more tears will start flowing down... walking home started to think of you.. And holding my tears back... Walk up the staircase all alone... feeling cold and lonely back then... Nearly fell backwards... and it remains me of how you use to hold me and making sure i don't fall... but this time i need to save myself... i wish i didn't stop myself from falling... Don't feel like going so stop at fifth floor cried like nobody bisnuess... Wipped away my tears and headed home... and cried again under my bed... After few long minutes clean away my tears... my mum asked me why is my eyes all red and swallon i shook my shoulder acting nothing happen... Sigh... feeling cold... head pain... throat pain...]: guess now i'm gonna bath and cry softly to myself...]':