Another day with sorrow!

A day with pain again...Went church this morning, was so tired...but, nevermind...since you're going i shall go too! So that i could see you... At first my mood was tired and it turn to become angry...and during sevice it was kinda happy cuz, i mange to see you... But, after service don't know why my mood change suddenly...;/ When you were dying to leave that place...I don't know how to describe my feelings!!! I don't even know what's my mood! I'm mess up! Before you left you asked me if i wanna hug you before you leave...i wanted too! But i was afraid that if i hug you, i wouldn't wanna let you go...;/ And you waited outside for me cuz, you think that i'm sad well, not say you're wrong but it was partly true anyway...;/ I didn't know why too! Saw you outside wanted to walk towards you but then again i was afraid...Sigh... I asked you to go cuz, i didn't want to take up your time on waiting for me...cuz, it doesn't matter... I know i would be afraid...Guess what?! I cried in the mrt...)': I was lying down on the glass door and thoughts of me and you together in the mrt...your image suddenly came into my mind. Yes indeed, i cried...i hide my face oneside when no one could look at me...then, the thoughts of you wipping of my tears flashes...i cried even more and the more i cry the more tears would roll down i want to cry out loud but i cant... I force myself not to cry! But, i cant help it...the more i force not to the more tears it would drop...)': Sigh...and i was listening to YOUR favourite song!!! Make me think about you more and more tears drop... i bang my head onto the thing three time hoping you would 'TSK' me...but sigh...i know i was just imagining that you were here beside me..but, like i said i was imagining and day dreaming...cuz, i know you aint going to be beside me...And yet, i still acted like you were... How foolish and silly i was right? Ha... I wanted to message you but i didn't dared to afraid you were busy...sigh... Today is a afraid day i guess? Haix... then i have no idea why every minute, every second and every hour i would take a look at my phone hoping you would message like 'hey!' or 'rawr!' or 'woof!' or some happy happy staff but not a single message from you at all... I wanted to message you but yet again i was afraid i fright back...i kept hitting my hand thinking if you wanted to message me you would...so no point me trying my best here, when you don't wish too! )':